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Wednesday, March 24, 2010 @ 6:45 AM
I used to be very concerned with how others view me, especially back in secondary school. I saw their opinions of me as an extension of myself; something that shapes me as a person.

Hearing something like that on the very first day of Term 2 would probably reduce me to tears and a state of near-depression 2 years ago. But strangely enough, i've found that i'm starting to become more immune to what others say about me. I've learnt to block out and more effectively suppress my emotions now. As Si Ying said, being a student leader is not at all like how it's portrayed in American high school chick flicks; popular, well-liked, etc. Being a student leader may allow you to gain respect, but perhaps only on an extremely superficial level. You can't please everybody, try as you may. Certain aspects of your character that you believed never to be flawed or problematic becomes the point of contention for others.

Ironically enough, while discussing this particular topic with Si Ying over dinner yesterday, i fonud that i could still laugh and joke about it. I admit that i even surprised myself; this is definitely not the old me that i used to know. I've indeed seen a gradual change in my character; i've learnt to be passive towards judgemental issues, but still assertive towards issues of tangible results. It seems that i'm starting to strike a balance between the different aspects of my own character.

I'm lucky to have wonderful people with me at this point in time. Cheryl, who always lends me a listening ear over our study/emo sessions; Summer, Syazana, Jamie, Shawn and Izzuddin who never fail to crack me up with their crazy antics. And the awesome 7th NE Council; including Ms Choo, Ms Koh and Mr Sim for their encouraging words and unfailing support. Perhaps this is what makes everything a lot more bearable. I still have things to live for and goals to strive for and attain.

To the person who has been gossiping behind our backs. As the saying goes, 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me'. I don't know what your aim is; heck, i hardly even know you. But just for your information, nothing that you say about me will change anything. If there is something in me that is really bugging you, then please, have the courage and the courtesy to say it to my face and not behind my back. At least i will still have respect for you on the grounds of your caustic honesty.

By the way, a very big thank you to Wei Liang for buying the cake for mine and Ma Xin's extremely belated birthday celebration. And thanks to the 7th NEC, for making my life beautiful again, as always (: I love all of you from the bottom of my heart (: