Saturday, January 15, 2011 @ 8:18 PM
I apologise yet again for the angsty post on Thursday. I should work on controlling my temper from now on. It's strange though, how emotionally and mentally exhausted i feel after just one week in school. Not one day passes without at least one teacher giving us a lecture on how-competitive-university-is-so-you-better-work-hard-if-not-you-will-be-wasting-3-whole-years. Very real, and very true, but it doesn't do that much for my self-esteem or my confidence. And i have a feeling i will be needing those two things more than ever this year. It's not so much about how difficult the syllabus is, or how deep my understanding of the content runs. It's more about how much energy i have left in my system to finish this race with a bang. And i mean a positive bang. 09A3. Pretty much the same bunch of mischievous and talkative PU1s Mr Toh encountered 2 years ago, but yet very different. How quiet we all are now. Perhaps it's the sense of loss that we all feel with the number of classmates who have left us. It's undeniable that it's very different without all of them here with us. A continually recurring phrase that we hear very often now from the tutors is 'This isn't the 09A3 i know'. Yes, perhaps. We're still pretty much the same people, but something seems to have changed within us. I face my upcoming 19th birthday this year with some apprehension. The thought of getting older makes me anxious for my future. Somehow school doesn't seem so much of a pain anymore. At least i'm sheltered from the world outside in school. But it's a whole different ball game out there. One which i'm not very sure i am ready to face. Which is why this year is such a critical year. Time for me to consolidate my learning, as well as seriously think about what i want out of my life. It's scary to realise at this point in time, that i've spent years pursuing my academic goals, but have pretty much no idea of what i want in life. But i think it's time to put aside all anxiety and uncertainty. I will make a promise to myself; to keep the end in mind and to stay focused throughout the year. Not only pertaining to myself, but also to the rest of the class. We've come so far together; we must be able to muster up the courage to face this final hurdle together as well.09A3, let's go for it! (: