Thursday, June 2, 2011 @ 8:02 AM
Just had a really enjoyable time with Ms Mariya and the 09A3 lot, bowling and playing pool (: Thanks guys, you all never fail to make me laugh, though i think i'll take less of the 'dictionary' jokes. Just kidding, i know they're all good-natured (: Anyway, i just happened to be looking through some things from a few years back. For the record, these things aren't exactly what i'll like to look at again, but it was necessary. It was necessary because i felt that it's time to come to terms with myself; time to be honest with what i truly want out of my life. What i found surprising was how disturbed and upset i felt despite the time that has passed. I believed that time would take the pain away, but all the same, my heart clenched so painfully, almost as if i was looking at it for the first time. So i asked myself, have i truly gotten over this episode? My head is screaming for me to retain my pride and proclaim that i have gotten over all of it, but of course, the pain that i feel is just all too real; so real that i know i can't lie to myself no matter what. Still, i feel proud that i've fallen, but managed to pick myself up again. It was a long and painful process, but maybe it was all for a good reason. I take comfort in the fact that i now wield the power to prevent a repeat of such an experience. But i still thank the Heavens for whatever that has happened; it has made me a stronger person and i am thankful for that.