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Saturday, August 13, 2011 @ 7:44 AM
The thing i love the most about my room is the breeze that blows in through my window. Strangely enough, i initially had an irrational fear of the huge tree outside for reasons even i can't quite fathom myself. But now i love opening the windows to let the cool breeze in, especially early in the morning or late at night. It takes some of the pain away while i'm struggling with yet another essay or another truckload of content to memorise.

Everything that i've been working and striving for for the past 3 years will be determined solely by a single examination. It's not just any examination, it is THE examination. As i reflect on my experience in MI, i feel a tinge of sadness at how it's going to be over all so soon. Sure, the studying and endless lectures and tutorials were painful; but the great memories i had with this class takes the pain away. It pains me that very soon, we'll all be going our seperate ways to pursue the dreams that we each have, and all of the happy memories will just be exactly that ;distant memories. Why is it that good things never last long enough?

I remember someone telling me once that a person who holds on stubbornly to the past will never be able to succeed in life. This came from someone who was willing to give up anything in his life to get what he wants; and i respect him for that. I shall always keep this in mind. I don't think my experiences are rich enough yet to be passing a judgement on this, but i believe that my questions will be answered in time to come, and time will tell.

As i sit here night after night, going through essays, lecture notes and mindmaps, i constantly ask myself if i truly know what i want in life. Perhaps not yet. Results are still the bottomline, so that is what i'm going to have to work for first. Whatever it takes is what i'm going to do, despite the exhaustion, the pressure, the frustration, knowing that we're not alone in this is a great source of comfort. For the first time in my 19 years, i actually truly believe that i'm fighting this battle in the best condition possible, because we're all made for greater and better things.

At the end of the day, sometimes it really does boil right down to how badly we want something. Perhaps the A Levels are not really what it's all cracked up to be. Doing this in the best psychological and emotional state of mind is probably the deadliest weapon that we can have. And it is this very weapon which will ensure our success. It's not a lot of time, but let's make the remaining time that we have worthwhile (: